Musings from the Amsterdam Airport

I can’t believe I’m flying home right now. I’m so excited to see Jason, my parents, brother, and friends but I’m really quite sad to be leaving India. There’s so much more I’d like to see. 4.5 weeks in India really didn’t even allow me to scathe the surface as to the many types of experiences this amazing country has to offer. In a way the experience seems so superficial because I know that after seeing the limited amount I was able and leaving now knowing how much I have missed will make this incredibly hard to explain to people back home. I’m sure they’ll be expecting exotic tales from afar, about a place almost unimaginable in some ways (feelings I had before I had left). Now that I have been there however, this no longer describes how I feel.  While it couldn’t be more different in some ways, in other ways it felt oddly familiar and comfortable.

Other people had me so concerned about travelling to this far off and mostly unknown land that I fell into the panic and internalized it myself. The pressure for me to dye my hair before leaving because being a young, white, blonde, blue-eyed female was just going to be too much and that I need to “think about my safety” seems a little bit ridiculous now. While of course I am not naive about the potential dangers of being a traveller in a place that I am not at all familiar, the context in which we were travelling during this residency could not have been safer and has left me feeling like my preparations were exaggerated.

I am a little bit nervous about going back home and the idea of re-entry shock. I’m already trying to picture what it will be like telling my family and friends about our adventures, giving them each their little tokens that I have brought home with me and trying to convey to them what it was that I experienced. Problem is though… I still don’t know what it was that I experienced. Sometimes it did feel like I was on this crazy adventure where anything could happen and that flexibility, positivity, spontaneity and the ability to go with the flow were the only characteristics needed to get by and get the most out of things. At other times however, within the confines of our luxurious hotels and meetings rooms, the experience felt almost sheltered and, in the sense of my mental preparation for “heading over-seas”, a little bit ordinary.

The times at the hotel, while good to relax and unwind, in a way took away from all the possibilities of what could be or what could happen. It was an environment designed to create feelings of familiarity which allowed us to slip perhaps back into our comfort zones and stay there – something that I had hoped would not happen during this time. However, I do understand that we were in India for our residency, not solely for the travelling experience – this second point just so happened to be at the top of my personal agenda so it was nice that the two were able to go together. 

Despite the few negatives of our lush accommodations, the entirety of this experience was fantastic. My only regret is that I couldn’t stay longer and get out there and see more. However, this need not be a regret as I am already dreaming up a travel itinerary for my next trip to India – this time perhaps to experience it in a bit more of a rugged, back-packing type of way with a friend.  As we discussed in Goa, the purpose and intent of a trip changes the experience as a whole. Going with a close friend for pleasure and new experiences would certainly provide me with a completely different glimpse of India, which will no doubt be extremely, if not entirely, different but one that I would hope to be just as amazing.